The End

I've been thinking for a while about how to end this blog, and I can't think of an appropriate way to conclude a discussion on everything that aging and spirituality encompass. As I was talking to my dad about spirituality, he said that as he gets older he doesn't worry so much about what he has done wrong in his but more about the opportunities he had to do good, to help someone in need and did not do it.

Maybe that's all spirituality is, doing the right thing in the end and the guiding forces that lead us to determine what the right thing (for us) is. It is also in this sense that spirituality leads us in making decisions and choices for our lives. As people get older and enter the stages of generativity vs stagnation and integrity vs despair they tend to rely more on their spirituality in their desire to pass on experience, knowledge and wisdom as well as in their decision making.

Religion and Spirituality...again

Well, I finally got the courage, or shall we say stamina, to ask my dad about his definition of spirituality. I told him I had been writing a lot about him in my blog on spirituality and older adults. So, before I begin, I have to say - his answer really surprised me.

My dad's definition of spirituality is - simply - one's belief in a divine being. Oh my god. How was it that simple? I was prepared for an hour of discussing spirituality, and he gave me possibly the simplest answer that covers almost everything associated with spirituality: morals, values, ethics, beliefs, because if one believes in a divine being then it guides one's life in these ways. hmmm....and, even more surprising, considering how religious I consider both of my parents to be, is that my Dad did not even think religion was related to spirituality other than as a place to express one's spirituality.

Now, I don't think this definition is true for all older adults, I think my Dad has a whole lot of Catholicism behind that simple statement, but I think it highlights the idea that sometimes the simplest idea or definition is the one to go with. While this is different for everyone, just as spirituality is, it is a guiding force in one's life.

Decisions

Yesterday's election seems to be all anyone could talk about for weeks, months almost a year heading into it. With all of the campaigning going on it was hard to focus on anything else. Many people base their vote on their spiritual or religious preferences and who they feel is the morally "right" candidate.

My mom told I wasn't allowed to vote if I was voting for Obama. My friend's mom refused to take her to turn in her absentee ballot so she had to get her dad to take her - when she came back her mom told her she was going to confession. I think these are humourous instances and I don't think either of our parents were for real serious; just trying to "lead" or "guide" us in the right direction as parents tend to do.

I was surprised my dad didn't use the religious or spiritual argument to try to sway my vote as the rest of my family did.

After these instances, I started thinking about how much people use their spiritual and/or religious beliefs to help them make decisions - from small everyday decisions to bigger once in a lifetime decisions. It seems to me that older adults may have fewer decisions, but they seem to be of greater magnitude. It is in this sense, I think, that older adults rely much more on their spirituality and/or religious beliefs to be their compass, their guiding force.

Cultural Differences

...I wish I could find some theology behind Super Mario Galaxy since that's how I spend all my time now, but I can't...

I started thinking about this topic today when one of my residents asked me to define culture. I included spirituality/religious beliefs in my definition. So, he then asked me how my environment defined who I am. What interested me is the difference in the view of aging and spirituality across cultures. In some cultures, such as India, the aging and elderly are held in respect by society and viewed as wise. However, in some cultures, such as America, we do not respect the elderly or connect this with a specific spiritual phase; the elderly are viewed more as doddering and boring.

I really like the idea of venerating old age as a time of wisdom and greater spirituality; however, I think it's also important not to get carried away with this idea. I think Dumbledore, in one of the first Harry Potter books, got pretty close to the truth when he said something along the lines of the only weakness of old age is that it forgets what youth feels like. However, it is also from teh experiences (and mistakes) of youth, or any time in life, that one grows in all areas of one's life - not just spiritually.

Erikson's Theories

Erikson has many theories on human development. For older adults this focuses on generativity vs stagnation and ego identity vs despair. These developmental struggles describe the social and emotional development in later adults. In the generativity vs despair stage, adults are trying to pass on their knowledge and memories to younger generations. Ego identity vs despair focuses on how adults come to terms with their life; they either view their lives as part of a larger context and are at peace with their lives or are in a stage of despair over their life. While these theories highlight the two extremes of adult development, they are useful in understanding development.

How does this theory relate to spirituality? Well, I think I mentioned in maybe my first blog about generativity and spirituality. Adults in this stage of Erikson's theory, in terms of spirituality are focused on passing on their experiences and beliefs with spirituality (my dad is a good example of this stage). Adults in Erikson's later stage are either at peace with their spiritual lives or look back on them with regret or guilt.

Ethical Dilemmas...

Private Practice premiered last Wednesday and I was going to write about this last week....but....my internet stopped working (again). Anyway, this premiere had a great example of an ethical dilemma. Addison's best friend is a doctor and kind of like a CEO of this private practice; her friend confided in her that she had somehow lost all of the company's money. So, the dilemma for Addison was whether to keep her mouth shut or to tell the head Doctor guy. She ended up telling and doing what was right for the company, in doing so, she seems to have lost her best friend. Anyway, I just thought it was an interesting dilemma to have and it kind of got me thinking about what I would have done in that situation. I don't have an answer for that right now, but I probably would have told on her as well.

In other news, I got to pass on one of my dad's favorite lectures to one of my residents last week. She did not want to go to "drug class"/outpatient rehab at the Bridge. So, I got to pass on the not everyone gets to do what they want all the time, doing things you don't want to do makes you a stronger person speech. She laughed, especially when I told her how much I hated getting the speech (even though he was right), but I think it got to her. I told my dad about this and he said he was going to make WWDD bracelets - what would dad do (insert eye roll)

Anyway, my dad somehow related doing what you don't want to do to building willpower to building morals and values and religion (not spirituality) - that was where the wwdd bracelets came in.

Also, this is kind of a personal sidenote - if anyone knows of anyone that is hiring for case manager like jobs please let me know, I had to transfer to Wilmer and my coworker is horrendous. I guess this also kind of relates to the doing what you don't want to do theme...

Religion

I've been thinking a lot about religion and spirituality lately and how the two relate. I was researching this (i.e. I googled it) and found some interesting information (from: http://cas.umkc.edu/casww/sa/Spirituality.htm). This article begins by discussing spirituality and aging. This, of course, requires a distinction between spirituality and religion. the authors pointed out that everyone has a spiritual component but not everyone is religious. It goes on to talk about mystical experiences of the elderly, but I think this distinction/definition is the important part of the article.

"Many people think that spirituality and religion are the same. Religion and spirituality may exist together, but as Twycross (1988), wrote: "Everyone has a spiritual component, but not everyone is religious." Religion is generally recognized to be the practical expression of spirituality; the organization, rituals and practice of one’s beliefs. (Davis, 1995). Religion includes specific beliefs and practices, while spirituality is far broader." (Ebersole & Hess, 1998)

My friend is a Masters of Divinity student at Notre Dame. She has Gustavo Guttierriez for a class on spirituality. I know to most of you this is not a big deal, but....Gustavo Guttieriez was kind of like a rock star in Spring Hill's theology program. He started the movement known as Liberation Theology that began in Latin America. It's all about bringing about change by immersing yourself in the culture and bringing about change by being one with the oppressed people (it's a lot more complicated than that but...). Anyway, his definition of spirituality is that spirituality is how one lives one's life. this encompasses ethics, morality, values and actions. I think it's interesting that even though he's this radical Catholic, religion is not a part of his definition of spirituality.